Embracing Spring Changes with Distress Tolerance
Written by Sarah Peritz, M.A.
As the seasons change and spring brings new experiences, we may find ourselves in new or increased social interactions. Whether it’s going to the park, attending outdoor events, or spontaneous interactions, these circumstances can sometimes test our patience and self-control. While spring often brings a sense of positivity, it can also lead to increased frustration as we adjust to new challenges or situations. In these moments, distress tolerance skills, such as the STOP skill, can be invaluable for managing stress and maintaining balance.
What is the STOP Skill?
The STOP skill is a distress tolerance skill that provides a practical way to pause and respond to a situation intentionally rather than reacting impulsively. It is an acronym for a four-step process:
S – Stop: Literally stop yourself in your tracks! This may feel overly simple, but it’s a powerful first step. As we know, objects in motion tend to stay in motion. Stopping allows you to interrupt that momentum, creating an opportunity to pause and redirect yourself away from the problem behavior.
How can I stop?
Visualize a stop sign! Stop signs are immediate and non-negotiable.
T – Take a Step Back: Create space between yourself and the situation (mentally and/or physically). Taking a step back gives us time to process and reflect on what we may want to do next based on our values.
How can I take a step back?
Taking a step back may mean leaving a room, excusing yourself to the rest room, or taking a deep breath.
On a beautiful spring day, it could mean stepping outside.
O – Observe: When engaging in the STOP skill, we may feel emotionally overwhelmed. Therefore, it is best to observe just the facts of our environment and of our emotions.
How can I observe?
First, try observing the external aspects of your environment by counting windows in a room, feeling the foot in your shoes, etc. Next, name the emotion you are feeling. Importantly, naming and recognizing the emotion does not mean engaging in it!
For those who love spring, it may also mean observing and describing the colors outside, such as the color of trees, budding flowers, etc.
P – Proceed Mindfully: Take action based on your values rather than what your emotion mind is telling you to do! Ask yourself: What aligns with my goals and who I want to be in this situation?
The STOP skill seems simple, but the power of the skill lies in practice and intentionality. It is more than just pausing and proceeding, but more so a way to reclaim control and act in accordance with your values. So this spring, as you step into more social moments and beautiful seasonal changes, keep a stop sign in mind, take a step back when needed, and approach each interaction with thoughtfulness and resilience. You’ve got this!